At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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