I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
