We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
