he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize