remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
