he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
