What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
