Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
