Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
