the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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