What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
