We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize