He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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