Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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