Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
