He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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