I wanna bring you to show and tell
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This is classic penis vs brain.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
