You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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