im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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