Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
COCAINE IS GR8
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
