I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
