i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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