Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
