do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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