This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
her facebook's as public as her vagina
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
