Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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