a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
