New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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