I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
