i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
