he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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