we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
