he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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