i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dignity is for republicans.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
