You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
