you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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