just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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