why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
