Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he puts the penis in happiness.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The air taste purple.
Randomize
