Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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