i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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