so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
