suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
