I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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