I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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