I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
