If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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