If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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