he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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