Your dad touched me again.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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