how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
