My balls are so social today.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
