the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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