He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
