4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
