Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize