I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dick very happy bro
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