hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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