so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
