Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
