Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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