I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
