so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
