Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
