Don't you send me to vm
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
