god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
