Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
