Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
