So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
