She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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