Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
