drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
