Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.

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(613): View more from Ontario

So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.

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(801): View more from Utah

Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.

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