imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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